


Displeasurement

by jack_merrijew



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 10:09:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13568382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jack_merrijew/pseuds/jack_merrijew
Summary: Kyle felt uninterested in life. Slowly diving into darkness without site of tomorrow. Eric shows compassion and changed Kyle’s perspective on life. Kyman one-shot.





	Displeasurement

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something from not writing in awhile with shitty writers block. Hope you enjoy <3

Why is it whenever we get in trouble we try to cover it up? 

Someone’s gonna find it eventually.

We might as well just admit to our crime and take the consequence.

* * *

I hate my hair.

It’s big and stupid and untamable.

It’s a mess to deal with.

I rather just shave it all off and go bald.

I bet that’d make me feel better.

Then I wouldn’t have to wear my hat anymore.

* * *

“Do you ever question why you have friends?” Kenny rambled.

I shrugged, “No, not often. I just more view people as different viruses all connected into a large plague that’ll be incurable.” 

Ken hummed, sitting up from under the bleachers in the gym. 

“So then you’re basically calling us annoyance that you wish were all dead?” He questioned.

I grimaced, “Something like that,”

* * *

Why was I born Jewish?

* * *

 “Why is it so satisfying to watch a razor blade glide along skin?” I asked, sticking a cigarette between my lips. 

Ken shrugged, tapping his cigarette between his fingers with a sigh. His blue eyes were focused outside the crack of the bleachers, they narrowed in thought. 

“Maybe because the skin slowly glides open without looking jagged, so it’s like those videos on YouTube.” He responded. 

I snorted, “Well, I guess I’m not trying hard enough to kill myself.”

* * *

Each cut I make is for how many times I could’ve socialized.

It’s at least ten each day.

* * *

I wanna fucking die a slow death. 

But I’m not trying hard enough.

* * *

“I did it,” he said. “I did it once.”

I raised a brow. 

“Oh?”

Eric snorted, leaning back on his seat with a far off look in his golden eyes. 

“I felt like that was the only control I had over myself.”

I nodded in understanding. Knowing what he meant. 

“But I stopped after a year, realizing that it didn’t do shit or made me feel better.” 

I frowned, “Then I guess I’m addicted to the pain. It gives me pleasure.”

* * *

I don’t understand my feelings. 

Am I sick?

* * *

I gave myself five cuts today. 

I feel accomplished.

Almost sickly proud.

I should tell Eric.

* * *

Love. 

* * *

“Dude.” I said. “I think I’m in love with you.”

Eric looked up. 

“Me too.”

* * *

“I’m ugly,” I said to myself. “I make ugly choices and have such an ugly personality. I used to be beautiful.”

“You’re not ugly. You’re beautiful.” Eric spoke, his arms wrapping around my bare torso. “Just look at yourself in the mirror. Everybody would look up to you if they weren’t so fucking blind.” 

I snorted, leaning my head back into his touch and sighed. 

“Then why do I feel so ugly?”

“Because no one has had the balls to tell you different your entire life.” 

* * *

“You like him, Kyle?” Ken asked with a grin. 

I shot him my middle finger, a smile on my face. 

“He’s better than you’ll ever be, faggot.” 

* * *

I’m not ugly.

I like my hair. 

I’m proud to be Jewish. 

I’m not a faggot. 

I’m just gay and happy.


End file.
